My Eye - The Gemini

Kitchen Kaper

2012-01-07T13:27:00.002-05:00

Decided to finally make two new dishes.

Meatless stuffed Spanish style red peppers and steak tostadas with an avocado/tomato/olives/lemon zest topped with feta cheese.

Learning to cook for my future partner and children. However, in the meantime, I am enjoying every delicious moment.

Goodbye 2010 --- Hello 2011!!!

2010-12-30T18:30:00.006-05:00

It's that time of year again. A time to re-evaluate the year, re-evaluate where one is in life, it's that time to decide if you are going where you want to be or if you have remained stagnant in your life. Well, this 2010 I have learned a lot. I learned that one can not get over heartache by replacing the pain with another soul. Learned that soul after soul only created patches. Eventually the stitching in the patchwork gives when put to the test. Eventually you must deal with the truth and work through it. This year, I dealt. Finally dealt with it all. I can see how much I have grown from it. I also wanted to get closer to my family. My mom always says how you start the new year is how your year will go. As you can see from the picture, I started my 2010 with my family. I can definitely say that I chilled more with my family this year. Grew closer to people I have always loved. This year I plan to ring in the new year with my family and new someone (very new and a special addition to my life). I also hope that this year those relationships prosper as they did this year. As 2o1o leaves, I also have some things I would like to do in the upcoming year. More volunteering. I want to be more involved. I want to make more of an impact on others that I know. At one point in my life I used to be so OUT. OUT ...Proud... un-Closeted. College was like liberation. I shed many inhibitions and just became myself. Then post-college, I have slipped back into Closet mode. Not that I will deny it, I just don't talk about it now, or I am not as out or open. I want to get back to being open; more like open in the community. Doing positive things for the community as a whole. I see 2011 as a continuation of 2010; a rebirth of sorts. I don't believe in New Year's resolutions. I just see the new year as a continuation; a continuation of my life. What I choose to do with it, is always evolving. I just pray that everyday I move forward and not back.

Happy New Year!

Parody - smiles!

2010-09-20T22:14:00.004-04:00

The things that make me smile - enjoy the giggle of my life

Monroe College Graduate - IDIOCY

2009-08-04T11:32:00.001-04:00

Ok so I wrote about how individuals need to go to college and receive a college education. Well, as I stated earlier going to school does not MEAN you are more intelligent from those that did not. Here's an example of an idiot that went to college and graduated. There is this girl out there that has graduated from Monroe College and is suing her alma mater for 70k (her tuition) and 2k for compensation (72k in total for those not so quick with the math) for not being able to find a job for the past 3 months. She is upset that with her 2.7 GPA (and perfect attendance) that she can't find a job and that the school didn't help her FIND ONE. (Check out the link for the full article: http://tinyurl.com/mkduox)

Dear Miss Trina Thompson of Bronx, NY –

First off, I would like to congratulate you for obtaining a degree in IT. Good job, clap clap, wonderful! Celebrate! Secondly I would like to ask you WHERE IN YOUR RIGHT MIND DO YOU THINK THE SCHOOL HAS AN OBLIGATION TO MAKE SURE YOU GET A JOB. Have you NOT been watching the news? WE ARE IN A RECESSION!!! I believe the unemployment rate is approximately 10% and increasing. I am not saying I have THE BEST GPA in college, but I also didn't come out thinking that solely my GPA was going to carry me to another job. Girl, you had a 2.7 GPA. Not so great actually. Have you not thought that in this time and day that you need at least a 3.0 or higher plus experience, ie internships? The school provides resources for you to use for your job search, however they are NOT OBLIGATED to provide you employment. We are all out here trying to maintain. How about you get out there like everyone else and keep applying? No one wants to work at McDonalds or payless as you claim; but please don't think you are ENTITLED to a damn thing in this world. Everything you receive you need to realize doesn't come without hard work. So keep looking like the thousands of other people out there. I had a friend that graduated with a MUCH higher GPA in Mechanical engineering and couldn't find a job post graduation; you know what she did…SHE WENT TO GRAD SCHOOL. So stop complaining and let go of your bitter lil lawsuit and look at your options. If all else fails, get a job at payless, McDonalds, who ever will hire you because truthfully ANY money coming in is better than NONE coming in.

Have a Nice day!

-Gemnye

Education Rant for July 31, 2009

2009-07-31T12:38:00.001-04:00

There's this poll going on my friend's page (www.jerzi.wordpress.com) to determine the AG (Stud) of the week. I submitted for the fun of it maybe see what the outcome will be. I am not telling people to vote for me because I do not want to influence the vote; though it may put me at a disadvantage. All in all, I began to read the bios for the individuals and the ages of the other two "competitors." After reading I found that it triggered a chord in my body concerning a topic that bothers me time to time. I have spoken to some of my close friends and co-workers about this and many do agree with me and others just tell me that life path is not meant for everyone. So here is my gripe… How are you 25+ years old (or damn near close to it) and you are still trying to be a "rapper" or you are still trying to "hustle?" How are you 22+ years old and you do not have a college education? I am not even asking for a lot of college education. I mean I wouldn't date you but even an Associate's degree in SOMETHING. I would rather see someone in the 25+ years old having Bachelors in something but let's not get too carried away. So we have two topics here: 1) Still chasing the dream of a teenager, i.e. being a singer/rapper and just "tryna make it" and 2) Lack of Education. DISCLAIMER: I am not discounting your intelligence if you did not pursue a degree past High School. I am just stating a fact. Your education STOPPED at High School. When you fill out an application and it stays to put an X in the spot of your HIGHEST Level of Education, you check High School.Topic 1Why are you still chasing this "I wanna be a rapper/singer?" Do you not realize that in the industry you are already considered OLD? Record labels do not want you because you are not young and marketable. I'm already 27 and don't look it and they wanted to change my "age" to 21 or younger. I have been down that road. I will admit I can sing and at one point I wanted to be a singer; however, I had enough sense to go to school, get a degree and get a real job. So I have done the meetings with different movers and shakers in the industry. But I am one for stability and though the job market isn't THE BEST right now, I would consider my job more stable than trying to "make it." Maybe I am not still stuck on the "dream" because my mother gave me 2 options when I was thinking about college. I said I wanted to go to school for MUSIC!!!! My mother turned and said to me, "if that is the case, you better find a way to pay for it because I am not." So then I went to the NEXT BEST thing, "I want to be an engineer." Her whole reasoning is go for something that is solid so that any hiccups in life I would still have a solid career to plant my feet into and still be able to live and take care of myself. Back to these hustlers and wannabe musicians, look truth is, what are you going to do when you are 40 years old and you are in the SAME place you were when you were 25? By 40 years old, anything you try to do from there (if you decide to FINALLY GET a DAM DEGREE), upon graduation, your counterparts/peers already have a good 15 – 20 years of experience on you in that field. I also understand that NOT all of us are made to do "big" things in our lives. We need all walks of life for this world to "go-round." Someone has to clean the toilets I piss in. I also know that stuff happens in life that is out of one's control; there are many people with degrees that are homeless. I guess it frustrates me to see where I am standing at 27yrs old/female/single, to see that the majority of this lesbian community that I come across is still in this hustla mode. When do you grow up and realize it's time to grow up. Being an adult, in my eye, is more than your possessions it is a mindset and I guess at times I feel like I am standing amongst a lot of children. Topic 2This one will be short- Lack of Education in the community (at least in my experience). It goes back to topic one, but all I am saying is HOW do you just graduate High School and you think it is okay to just not move on to something else. By something else I am referencing community college or a university. Where in your brain did it not connect that High School is the end of schooling. Again I am not staying you are not intelligent. However, if you are so intelligent why didn't you go on to higher learning? Statistics show that getting a degree not only help you out but help out this country. It raises the Education Level of the country. It is your duty as an AMERICAN CITIZEN to help and not hinder the Education Level. Don't tell me you don't have the money – that's what grants and loans are for. I am still paying back my school loans and I will still be paying them until I'm 40 probably. WHO CARES? It's education debt. I gained debt because I wanted to better myself not buy a new pair of sneakers or be the "best" dressed in the neighborhood, etc. Beauty fades as does the ability to keep up with the new trends…but education does not. You can always build upon it. Yes experience takes you far but the one with the experience AND the degree to back up that experience goes even further. And again, I understand the entire world isn't meant for this "life path," however I do think that the bar needs to be raised MUCH higher than what it is.

Trapped!

2009-07-13T12:21:00.002-04:00

Oddly enough my last blog was about my friends stuck in an elevator. Last night, I dreamt I was stuck in one. It wasn't the most pleasant dream. It wasn't because I was stuck. It wasn't because people were freaking out because I was totally alone. There wasn't call button for help, there was nothing. The more I think about it, there wasn't even a door. I just sat there; stuck between the 22nd and 23rd floor. I decided to research the meaning behind the dream. I found that a dream of being stuck in an elevator symbolizes that your emotions have gotten out of control. The same is true if you dream about an elevator that is out of order. What has me more interested in this is that this morning all that has been on my mind is how I am totally emotionally messed up. It's starting to get difficult to control how feel. It's not cool when I begin to break down at work. It's now seeping into my subconscious mind because I don't even notice when I zone out. Last night my mom asked me if I was crying. I wasn't. But in some way I think I was. I no longer release tears. Think of it as recycled tears. I cry backwards. My eyes will become filled with tears, then the tears flood away but not down my cheeks. I'm drowning now.

What Kinda KRAZZIINESS IS THIS?!

2009-03-28T12:39:00.004-04:00

Ok. I was out with my friends last night...Had a WONDERFUL TIME!!!

We drank, we danced, we drank some more...jello shots...and open bar...

it was at this place (more like apartments) called THE LOFTS in Philadelphia.
I didn't get the photos of the people with body paint...I wasn't really all that concerned...

Finally I got out of the house and had a chance to hang out with my friends. Once I knew of the company I would be with...the night had easily given way to the possibility of being a night I wouldn't forget...either drama would ensue or memories would be created... there was no drama...but the memory of THIS night will live on forever... THIS HAS NEVER been something i had to experience...or knew would ACTUALLY HAPPEN... the universe wanted to play ...and last night was the night...

it was approximately 3am... and the party was dying down...

We were all ready to leave (more like 2 other people were really ready...but Jai and Day were preoccupied with their own musings).... and we were all walking to the elevator and I got slightly distracted... 2 of the four people i was walking with disappeared. So I went to find Carmen. After a few moments with Carmen and Steph, we began walking toward the elevator to leave the building. At this point, I really started to wonder where my other friends were.

As we get closer to the elevators, I hear mumbling in the elevator. I knock on the door and hear Jai screaming in the elevator, banging on the door and more screaming and a hint of giggling. Then there came the buzzing... they couldn't find the help button and all you could hear was the ringing in the elevator. Although it was only about a 15 min ordeal.

its ok carmen and steph...i cant believe it either....

here's a few photos of the before moments....Poor Carmen and Steph! We were so upset they were stuck...just thinking how does this happen. Few guys were walking out saying mayn that must really suck. Who gets stuck in an elevator? We all looked at each other and were like in one glance... our friends! :-)

Then FINALLY help came to our friends desperate cries for help. Panic attacks consumed one person in the elevator...

and poor Brit...tired and ready to go.... had her head wrapped up and was only thinking ...WHAT .... THE.... FUCK... And they still have to drive another hr to get home...

Luckily...as you will see below, no one was hurt in this ordeal....and we have video to really capture the moment...

VIDEO OF THE AFTERMATH!!!

Its Doomsday...

2009-03-17T13:29:00.005-04:00

… December 21, 2012 is the end of the world (predicted by Mayan Calendar End)

If this is true…you are officially 3 yrs, 9 months and 4 days away from "the end."

How do you want to spend your possible last 3 yrs on this earth?

"The date is December 20, 2012. Tomorrow, obviously, is December 21, 2012. At approximately 11:11pm our existence on this planet some think, will cease to exist. How would you like to spend the last 3 or so years of your life? Having guaranteed great with one individual? Or doing so with more than one person knowing the experience could be good, or bad? "
This question arose from a discussion my sorority sisters were having in a room with a fraternity we are close to and the conversation bled over into wings night at Applebee's. As I woke up this morning, the question of the night before rested in my head. Rico…How would you like to spend the last 3 or so years of your life?
Do I want to spend it running after a woman who is obviously not in love with her boyfriend (or at least that is what I am told)? Or do I want to spend it back doing what I used to do – creating new moments and new experiences, no matter how bad or good they may be? Do I want to go after the dreams of being a writer/musician? How does one deal with the conflicts of their heart? Is there any real resolution to what I want…or more importantly, what I truly desire?

How do I want to spend my last 3 years?

I would love to look back on the night before December 21, 2012, and think, after 30 years on this earth…I want to honestly say it has been a wonderful ride. If we do make it to December 22, 2012, I don't want to regret anything because I was living for the next 3 yrs instead of thinking I have more than just 3 yrs left. I don't want to look back and think oh how you wasted time chasing after her…but then again I don't want to look back and thing oh how you should have continued. Early on I was told I shouldn't quit. Quitting is NOT an option! I didn't raise a quitter. It's almost like a moral conflict to just walk away. Especially as fucked up as it may be, I should.
Maybe my life lesson is relationships or better yet finding ways to foster healthy ones. I am constantly told I am "too good" to be in this situation. "Too Smart"—"Too Beautiful"—"Too Wonderful of a person"—There is nothing in me that does not believe that is true. I am not too sure where I should turn. It's really interesting how this 3 yrs left to live has thrust my whole world into a new plane of thought. I feel off balanced.

Also, who is it that I want to be? I had a conversation with 2 individuals last night. It was brief, but I realized I still live a double life. I can't be me at home. At all. Yet, as much as I want to get away from UD, it's like an addiction to me. It is the place I came into who I am. UD was the place where I gained confidence in who I am, in who I love and not care about what everyone else says/thinks. It continues to be my refuge. I am a clouded version of myself entirely blurred from my family … and other facets of my life (such as work and church). I am tired of pretending, and tired of faking. I have put myself in a cage…I have made my bed hard. And I have been forced to sleep in it. I need to regain strength and move. Walk out of my cage. But it's not so easy…How do you become who you want to be, when you are afraid of losing those that think they know who you are.

Again…the question plagues me…
How
Do
I
Want
To
Spend
My
Last
3
Years
?

Finally I am Back!

2009-02-19T10:37:00.000-05:00

I finally figured out how to get my mobile blog connected to my normal one. So I will be blogging more often. Thank goodness. I find that I want to write at odd times so having my cell connected will be perfect. I do have some more photos to post! (Yay!) I took them while out in LA for work. I must say I love it out there. It's nice because well one...I do have family out there and two the scene just fits.

RIP Billey Joe Johnson

2008-12-25T20:40:00.012-05:00

Please watch the video below:

This Story makes me very IRATE! How is it that there is even QUESTION as to how this boy died? 17 years old! SEVEN-TEEN. This seems like it is a story out of the 40's. This is complete donkey crap!

Or in the words of Amy Winehouse "WHAT kinda FUCKERY is this?"

The police officer at the scene said that this was suicide... or now speculation - accidental death by the hand of this 17 year old.
He was a hunter.
He had a 12 gauge shot gun.
He uses buckshot in his gun.
He is right handed.
He was shot in the back of his head, behind the left ear.
There was a small entry wound in the back of his head.

Let's look at some video I found. 12 gauge shot gun (with buckshot) vs a cantaloupe...

12 Gauge Shotgun (buckshot) Vs Cantaloupe - video powered by Metacafe

How can THAT result in a "small entry wound in the back of his head" with a GUN.

Did these police in Mississippi REALLY think that this would pass as something that is valid?
And do they think the public is stupid? Why did the NAACP have to get involved? Any person with half a right mind would know that this story is complete BS. Below I am going to provide a picture I found on an internet search. It is graphic so I have created a graphic content item to spare those with weak stomachs please do not click the photo I have provided.

So all I want to know is HOW can a RIGHT HANDED kid...shoot himself on the left side and it be considered accidental shooting or suicide. Also to top that off the entry wound was small and the gun landed on top of him. This just makes me very unhappy. I needed to get this off my chest and more people need to know about this story. If you haven't heard about it, pass this along. Google Billey Joe Johnson Mississippi. Get the word out to make sure George County Mississippi and the police department don't get away with foolishness in 2008 going into 2009. A promising young man's life was cut short. Why? I don't know.

Innocent until proven guilty huh? In a case like this, it should be guilty until proven innocent. Because there is NO way in this WORLD this kid did it to himself.

Settling Down Syndrome

2008-12-15T23:15:00.008-05:00

I wrote this blog last year around this time. It is amazing how a year can change your mind, change your heart, change your dreams, your hopes, your desires and needs. I wrote this last year and I say give it a read. Because now, I can say I have SDS. I have the desire but waiting for the affliction to take over me and I can find me someone also infected with SDS. There is no cure. There is no desire for a cure. SDS is not bad as I thought.

Read below into my past. An angel found me months after I wrote this a changed my vision. For that I thank her. My heart now bleeds of passion it once forgot.

----------

- Settling-Down Syndrome -

Over the past few months I have encountered this epidemic I would like to call SDS (Settling-Down Syndrome Phenomenon). SDS seems to particularly afflict those within the ages of 21 - 26. Seems those with this affliction have this unforeseen need to fulfill. Whether it be because of some impending doom factor that they are not tied to another person for the remainder of their natural life, biological clocks are ticking, the "I need to grow up" thoughts, or just plain fear that they may have to go through life with out a special significant other.

As look out at these SSPers in my life, though I am genuinely happy about their new found purpose in life, I just can't understand what the rush is for. What is driving this phenomenon? Here I stand at 25 years of age with no desire to ever become infected and take the SSP plunge.

I have always looked at humans as every other animal on this Earth. I am still trying to locate where this notion of monogamy and total dedication to one individual plays into the carnal lives of the inhabitants of this planet. We all know that no matter our age there will be someone better looking, more intriguing (whether that be mental or physical), tempting and possibly a better catch than the one you have. Maybe this is my Gemini sense that jus can't fathom a relationship or the SSP hasn't reached my door step. Why it is that one must remain bound to one individual all of their life? Even though divorce is a viable cure to SSP, why is it, if SSP is so great, that once SSP develops into BCS (Ball & Chain Syndrome) a legal agreement is needed to prevent the other party from violating the terms of the monogamous agreement? I find it quite selfish and almost appalling.

SSP is a disease of the mind. One should be free to love, lust, and like how ever many people and not have to fear being infected by SSP. It is only because of the views impressed upon young minds that create this problem. We are nurtured to think we need one person in our lives that we eventually commit to for eternity. To have offspring, SSP is not needed; just a functioning reproductive system. Some financial stability is offered in SSP, but if people just accept responsibility the care for the offspring should be easy. Stick to a simple rule, creation requires some responsibility. In other words 'you lay down, you pay out'. EASY.

Once SSP becomes imbedded in their lives, these SSPers then begin to find ways for their friends to be apart of this craziness. Why SSPers don't understand that there is more to life than just this phenomenon? There is this presumptuous air about them that look down upon those that do not care or ever want to ever be infected with this illness.

That is where the categories come in and derogatory comments to those that choose to live life independently. You have heard these words: home wreckers, whores, hoes, coquettes, etc. Why must we, who enjoy "playing the field", conform to your standards? Is it our fault that your husbands, wives, boyfriends, and girlfriends are intrigued by our desire to remain free and no attachments? Is it our fault that we know how to handle, please and tempt those that are important in your life? Or maybe our actions remain at the root of where we began; humans are not a monogamous species. As with food, and we have the need to fulfill hunger, the independent group have an impulse to fulfill and will do it.

Then again, maybe it is just a fight between the haves and the have nots. Could it be that the SSPers that are deficient in being able to truly love. Maybe it is them who do not have the capacity to love more than one person therefore having to find one and remain totally into them for their life.

As I see it, we, the independent group, are not acting out on such primitive impulses. It could be just that those that are deficient (SSPers and BCSers) are trying to influence the world to believe that developing SSP is the way to go, so they don't feel so left out.

Think on it…

Mini Rant #1 - Delaware Memorial Bridge and Commute

2008-12-13T19:36:00.000-05:00

Check out Mini Rant #1

Comment if you like.

Giving It A Try

2008-12-13T18:30:00.001-05:00

So since this is my opening blog, I will just jump right into it.
I have decided to give photography and painting a try. It's been something I have been wanting to do for some time; at least the photography. The painting was more on a whim. Abstract painting however, any other type, well I don't have much talent there.
We will see. I haven't really decided a focus for this blog yet, that's why I have named it Gemini. I of course am a Gemini and have a hard time focusing on one single project to completion. I write music, but may not complete the song. I start a story, but may not complete the book. I find an interest, but may get lost in the details. So because of that, I decided to start the blog. Maybe it will be something I can keep up as long as it remains unfocused and just as free and sporadic as I am. I have added some photos that I like that I took and the reason why I want to try out photography.